The Heart Wants What It Wants
by Serenity-X-Garrus
Summary: A one shot. Takes place after the fight with the Elder One and before and during the credits ending. Hope you enjoy.


Hey everyone.

So I played Dragon Age: Inquisition as a Rouge Archer Elf and romanced Solas. At the end I felt empty and I had to hug my husband for comfort. I made an AMV and I wrote this one shot. It was inspired by the song _The Heart Wants What It Wants by Selena Gomez_ and some scenes were inspired from Twilight: New Moon and Final Fantasy XIII. I hope you guys like it. I had fun writing it but at the same time shed some tears because their romance is just... sad.

Enjoy.

SerenityxGarrus

P.S. If anyone is intrested in watching the AMV the tittle is **Dragon Age: Inquisition: Solas X Levellan-The Heart Wants What It Wants[HD]. **The link will be in my page for anyone who wants to just click and watch.

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The Heart Wants What It Wants

She smiled politely to all her guests as she tried to mingle.

_More like forget..._

Her heart constricted at the mere thought of him. She shook it off and tried to smile brightly. They won. Wasn't that all that mattered?

_He isn't here..._

Cole saw her clutch her chest in pain. She slowly walked to an unoccupied chair to hold herself steady from the onslaught of emotions. He knew. She hurt. But she didn't want to forget.

"Are you alright?" Leliana asked her softly, trying not to make a scene.

Amber Rose shook her head.

"I'm turning in. Forgive me. And tell the guest to please enjoy themselves in my absence."

Leliana only shook her head as Amber Rose walked away from her trying to hold back her tears.

She reached her bedroom only to hug herself and start crying. She stayed with her back to the door, hunched over letting out all her pain.

She sighed deeply, inhaling the night air that came through the cracks of her room. She tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear as she dragged herself to her bed. She sat on her bed, and bent to take off her boots.

_At least he wasn't here much…_

She sniffed as she grabbed the covers and snuggled under the blankets and closed her eyes to welcome the peace and darkness that sleep brought.

"_You change... everything…" _

_His eyes looked blue from the angle in which the sun was shining. _

_Blue like the sky…_

"_Sweet talker." _

_She smirked as they both looked to the far distance._

_She closed her eyes. She listened to her heart. The way it beat faster and faster at his proximity. She opened her eyes and turned to him. Her hand shot out placing a hand on his face, turning him to her and made the decision to take a leap of faith and kiss him. His kiss was soft and uncertain. But he wanted more. She felt it. _

Cole heard her pain clear as day. It echoed in the fade. He wanted to make her forget. So she can be happy.

"_This is a pain I don't want gone, Cole." _

_She looked to the side, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear. The way she always did when she was looking for the right words to say. _

"_But thank you." She looked at him with a gentle smile. "It means a lot to have a friend like you around." _

That's why he didn't help her in the only way he could.

Of course he wasn't alone. Leliana was on her balcony watching her. She had seen the same when her friend died, sacrificing herself. Alistair only yelled in his sleep. Reaching for her. Always reaching for her.

Amber Rose screamed, always reaching for him. It was sad. And unfair. Leliana looked at the moon high in the sky. She heard wolves in the distance howling. Echoing her pain.

"_Don't go." _

"_It would be kinder in the long run… but... " _

_He turned to her. His silver eyes shining with wisdom beyond his years. So Calm. Serene. _

"_Losing you would…" _

_He kissed her. She felt his longing. His want. And she wanted more as he engulfed her petite form. He was her castle. Where she felt safe. _

"_Ar lath ma, vhenan." _

Leliana reached her bedside and tucked her in. Rubbing her back to stop her screaming. She could wake her up, but she had to let this out. To forget at least for a moment. In the morning she would be a better. She did the same with Alistair.

"_Is there anything in the world you won't tear down just to prove how smart you are?!" _

_She yelled at him out of rage. She refused to believe what he was saying. These markings were around forever! Why?! Why would he say something so… so… blasphemous!_

"_Why would you tell me this?!" _

_She turned to look at him. The gap between them bigger._

"_Because you deserve better." He said softly. His crystal eyes were soft and pleading. _

_She dragged her hands down her face landing on her hips. _

"_This is bullshit!" She said as she punched the rocky wall of the cave. _

_Solas just watched as she let out her anger._

"_I didn't tell you this to hurt you." He stood behind her. Her back to his chest. "If you like, I know a spell… I can remove the vallaslin." _

_She walked past him as she turned._

"_I don't want them removed, Solas. Whatever they were, there is a reason why my people kept them." She looked down to the ground. "If the Keepers know, then they are keeping it secret. If not, then its because its all they have from a time where we were people." _

_She smiled as she relaxed. She looked at Solas as he stood facing her with curiosity._

"_Don't you see? So what if we were slaves to a god. We carry these markings to remember. It's our history. Its who we were, are. Maybe we can make it better. If our gods came back, maybe they can make it better. The city elves lost their ways but that's why we exist. To continue their fight. To give them something to hope for one day."_

_She looked past him to the scenery. _

"_It may be slaves markings to you. But to me it's a mark of hope. Of change." _

"_I'm… so sorry for causing you pain." He stood in front her of as she smiled gently at him. "It was selfish of me." He placed a hand on her cheek. It was warm and soft. She leaned into it. "I look at you and I see what you truly are…" His eyes traveled from her hair to her eyes, down her nose to her lips. "You are perfect the way you are." He whispered as he leaned in to capture her soft pink lips. _

_She kissed him back with all that she had as he placed his hand down to the small of her back, engulfing her again. Making her feel safe. _

Leliana didn't know how long before all of Skyhold would hear her screams. Before the Inquisition would bear arms just to find out what was going on.

_The way his eyes sadden. His eyebrows down turned to show sadness. And in that moment, she knew. She knew what was to come next. _

"_I'm sorry. I distracted you from your duty. It won't happen again." He said as he slowly stepped away from her. _

"_Solas-" _

"_Please, Vhenan."_

_Anger came at her again. Was this all a lie? She had seen that same expression before. Was she ever doomed never to be loved?_

"_Tell me you don't care." She said as she held back her tears. _

_Solas looked at her surprised. "I can't do that." _

_She balled her hands into fists as she look down at the ground. _

"_Tell me I was some casual dalliance…" She looked at him when he stood close to her again. "Tell me I some causal dalliance so I can call you a cold hearted son of a bitch and move on!" She pushed him away from her before she walked away. _

"_Your angry, good. Use that anger" Vivianne told her after Heaven. _

_It was carried by the wind, as he softly said sorry. _

"Solas!" She cried out as she awoke. Her breathing became erratic as Leliana backed away from her.

"Its alright." She murmured as she approached Amber Rose.

Amber Rose did not look at her. Her bright red hair obscuring her face.

"I will bring you something to eat." Leliana took the hint and left.

It took a moment for her breakfast to arrive. She was already dressed and ready for a new day. She walked towards the balcony where they shared their second kiss. She hugged herself again. Not because of the cold air. But because the cold he left behind. She looked at the sky.

"_Lathbora viran." _She whispered to the sky as she took a deep breath and walked away from the balcony and tried to find things to do.

0-0-0-0

A month had passed and she couldn't take it anymore. She looked at her hands and made a decision that would change everything. She didn't want to forget. But neither remember.

It was night. The moon high in the sky. Stars twinkled brightly. It was snowing when she stared at tower that would be home to the Inquisition. She sighed and turned around starting the long journey to get to where she needed to go.

0-0-0-0

Leliana ran to her room, frantically looking for her when she came across a letter written in her hand. It was in elven and she needed it to be translated.

She grabbed it and ran to the war room where they were to be meeting.

"Who knows how to read elven?" She hurriedly asked.

"I know a bit." Jossie told her as she took the paper.

"Whats going on?" Cullen asked Leliana as he looked between the two.

"What?!" Josie looked at both her friends before she re-read the paper.

"She's gone! For good!"

"What? What about the Inquisition?!" Said Cullen.

"Oh. I thought she was better. Even after Cole told me… wait, COLE!"

Leliana ran outside shouting his name until he appeared in front of her.

"You can feel her. Where is she?"

"A place where it has been forgotten." He said cryptically. Like he always did.

"A place where it has been forgotten? Where?"

Cole didn't answer her. He promised he wouldn't.

"She made you promise didn't she?"

Cole only nodded and vanished.

"Dammit Amber. What are you doing?"

0-0-0-0

His heart wouldn't stop beating erratically. Something was amiss. Did he forget something? Not that he knew. He looked at the mirror in front of him, debating if he should go into it now or later. Leliana's spies had been searching for him. But he couldn't allow her to find out. Because then _she_ would follow.

At the mere thought of her his heart constricted. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was hard to walk away. Probably the hardest thing he had ever done. He looked up as the trees surrounded him. So bright and green like her eyes.

_Bright and green like her eyes…_

He frowned as he listened to his heart. His eyes widen and he ran to where his heart directed him to. He prayed he wasn't late.

0-0-0-0

It had been three weeks since she left and now she was leaving the Emerald Graves. She thanked Fairbanks as she continued her journey. All she took with her was the swan bow that Solas made for her.

It was a hard journey but she made it. It wasn't far from the Emerald Graves. She walked into the very halls where she changed everything for the better. Or at least she hoped. She stood in front of the well of sorrows. Or it was a well of sorrows until she drank from it.

She stepped into the empty space and the floor came to life. Water engulfed her. Mythal heard her cries, her hurt, her pain.

Flemeth appeared from the mirror.

"Poor child." She looked at her with sorrow.

"Stop!"

Flemeth turned to the voice.

"Don't do it." Solas pleaded.

"She is willing to give herself." Flemeth announced the obvious.

"She is just a foolish child. Please, let her go." He pleaded as he looked at her still form floating inside the water.

Flemeth looked at him sadly. She turned to the poor soul who cried from the pain in her heart. Flemeth could not ignore the pain. A pain she knew well. She did the only thing she could as she snapped her fingers.

"No!" Solas yelled as he was thrown back.

He grunted as he hit the floor, quickly getting up to save her only to stop midway.

Before him lay a beautiful crystal statue of her. She had a smile on her face her eyes staring at him. Her arm outstretched for him to take her hand.

"Amber…" He whispered as his eyes widen.

"Without an end, there can be no peace."

Flemeth whispered softly to him.

Solas approached the crystal statue and took her hand. He gasped as a solitary tear left the embrace of the statue. He captured the tear as it formed into a crystal. He looked at her again and kissed her forehead.

"Ma da'assan." He whispered to her. "Ar lasa mala revas." He said sadly as he let her go.

"It was my fault." He told her.

"I know, my friend." She said as they touched foreheads.

Solas held onto Flemeth as she collapsed in his arms. He laid her down in front of the statue of her. He kissed her cold sold lips before he went through the eluvian, never to be seen again.

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Translations:

Ma da'assan - My little arrow.

Ar lasa mala revas - You are free.

Lathbora viran - Roughly translated as "the path to a place of lost love," a longing for a thing one can never really know.

(Dragon Age Wiki)


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